Focus: From time to time, each of us engages in activities that help us develop a greater sense of presence, understood as the ability to remain connected to the here and now of our experience through our senses, sensations and thoughts. These are activities we often carry out automatically, but by paying attention to certain steps, they can become opportunities to practise mindfulness and foster personal growth.

In the past, I wrote an article about our need to be listened to by others. I reflected on this topic based on my frequent experience, both in therapy and in my personal life, of people expressing their frustration at not feeling heard by their loved ones. I highlighted how listening is a rather complex practice because it requires us to be there for another person, setting aside our prejudices and expectations while remaining present through our senses.

To clarify: setting aside judgments and expectations does not mean giving them up! It means being able to put them in brackets, allowing them to remain in the background and making space for the other person without measuring what they say against our preconceptions and thoughts.

In the same article, I explained how this practice is one of the main skills we develop in my (our) profession, and how a large part of our training in Gestalt psychotherapy is devoted to the practice of listening. This begins, first and foremost, with listening to ourselves: recognising our senses, sensations and emotions, and learning to be present from one moment to the next.

This skill—the ability to listen to ourselves and, consequently, to others—is not exclusive to helping professions. It is something each of us can develop and put into practice in our everyday lives.

In future articles, we will explore some mindfulness practices in greater depth to help develop listening skills through regular, focused practice. In this article, however, I would like to share another experience that has helped me, and continues to help me every day, keep my senses alert, remain present moment by moment, and use and develop my listening skills.

It is an experience you will probably recognise as something quite ordinary. Yet, by looking at it from this perspective, you may be able to add it to your list of mindfulness practices without much effort.

I am talking about the time I spend caring for plants.

I was not born with a green thumb, but I developed a passion for plants during a difficult period in my life.

When I first started buying several plants, I struggled because I lacked the knowledge and skills needed to care for them properly. With no previous experience, I turned to websites for advice, but the information often seemed too general and approximate, particularly when it came to growing techniques, solving problems and understanding the specific needs of individual plants.

I therefore began to rely on observation and on listening to the signals I noticed, while also learning through trial and error.

I discovered that every plant, even when very similar to another, responds in its own way to environmental conditions. I learned to recognise the needs of each one, identify the signs it displayed and interpret them as messages or indicators of need, deficiency or well-being.

These daily practices, to which I sometimes devoted several hours, allowed me to:

• Engage my senses more fully, not only my sight but also, in particular, my sense of touch and smell.
• Develop a stronger sense of presence in the here and now, increasing my concentration on what I was doing. Sustained attention helped me remain fully present, with my whole self—my senses and my thoughts.
• Improve the quality of my breathing. When caring for plants, it is important not to rush! Whether we are impatiently waiting for new leaves to appear or tending to our plants by changing the soil, watering them or pruning them, we need to allow things to happen at their own pace.

All these activities require a steady, unhurried rhythm because we need to maintain our attention on what we are doing. For example, watering too quickly and carelessly can lead to overwatering and root rot. Deciding which branch to prune requires us to pause and observe the entire plant, noticing any new shoots or signs of potential growth.

When we carry out these activities at a calm pace, our breathing also improves, becoming deeper, fuller and more regular.

Another important aspect that helped me develop a more attentive awareness of my plants’ needs was contemplation. I spend a great deal of time looking at them, observing their veins, colours, shapes and the subtle variations in their shades.

This practice of contemplation has allowed me to get to know my plants, discover the unique characteristics of each one and recognise any warning signs.

It may seem curious to connect this kind of visual observation with listening, which we typically associate with the ears. Yet this is precisely what makes listening so complex: it involves all our senses and is not limited to the act of hearing.

Listening also involves contemplation, in which our senses are once again present in a fluid, open way. Our gaze gently explores the object before us, without searching for anything in particular, but simply experiencing it.

Caring for my plants gradually became an almost daily appointment, ranging from a few minutes to several hours, depending on the day. It is still the time when I care for them and, through this, take care of my own well-being:

• I reduce my stress levels.
• I breathe more steadily and deeply.
• I relax and spend time doing something enjoyable.
• I remain present in the activity I am engaged in, without distractions such as mobile phones, wandering thoughts or other tasks waiting to be completed.

This is my experience: the way I went from having a black thumb to developing a green one. It is a skill I have built over time by learning from my plants, rather than assuming I already knew what they needed.

In fact, because of what I thought I already knew, and because I sometimes became anxious about information I found online—even on highly reputable websites—I would try to apply the treatments I had read about to my plants. Only later would I realise that, given their environment, context and the conditions I provided, they actually needed different kinds of care.

There are certainly other activities that can help us develop our listening skills when we bring attention to the elements described above.

In Japan, for example, the tea ceremony requires dedicated time and a relatively lengthy preparation process. Another example is shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing. At first glance, it might seem like nothing more than a walk in the woods. In part, that is exactly what it is—but it is also much more. What makes the difference is how we walk and what we choose to pay attention to while doing so.

I wanted to share my experience with plants to offer an example of how we can develop our listening skills and practise mindfulness through simple everyday activities.

I am sure each of you has an activity you engage in in your own special way, investing time and energy in one or more passions.

And perhaps, as you read this article, you have thought: I do that too!

I certainly hope so!

My point is that you do not need to develop a passion for plants to improve your listening skills or practise mindfulness. Instead, you can use this example as an invitation to notice, from now on, just how many skills you develop whenever you devote yourself wholeheartedly to something you enjoy.

What are the activities you are passionate about that allow you to practise listening?

What skills do you think you have developed?

Share your experience here.

HOW TO PRACTISE MINDFULNESS IN EVERYDAY ACTIVITIES: A SUMMARY

• Choose an activity you enjoy and love doing. This could be model-making, caring for plants or a garden, knitting, sewing, DIY projects, working with clay, and so on.
• Set aside time when you can devote yourself entirely to the activity. At first, it may help to decide on a specific amount of time, and the practice may require a substantial investment of time. As you become more familiar with it, however, it will become easier to immerse yourself in the activity, and even a few minutes may be enough to benefit from it.
• Immerse yourself in what you are doing, engaging all your senses: sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. You will notice that each sense is involved in a different way. Take some time to observe what you are doing, how you are doing it and the materials or objects you are using, whether fabrics, plants, soil, wood, clay or something else.
• Bring your attention to your breathing and observe its rhythm and quality: is it deep, laboured, short, slow or calm?
• Make time for contemplation. Direct your attention to what you are doing in a way that is present and fluid, focused yet gentle.